I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
