May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
