You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
