haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
