So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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