Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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