Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
