I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
