life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
