When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
