Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
