We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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