Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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