nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
