I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
