I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
