My liver just broke up with me...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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