I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize