spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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