the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize