He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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