Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
