i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
