Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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