You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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