As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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