Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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