super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
