You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize