why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
