like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
