I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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