y did u give ur computer a hand job?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
