Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
