I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
