I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
