piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
