how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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