Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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