I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
