Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
