wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
