I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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