Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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