so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
