I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
