What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
