Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
