Me. At least after what I've been through.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well I just put wine in my tea
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
