I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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