I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
