Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
