I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
