I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
