nut hugger
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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