The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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