In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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