i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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