It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
