I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
