problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
