see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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