so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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