his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
