please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I touched a dick in church today
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
