do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
