I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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