It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
